300

Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham

Dir. Zack Snyder
Scr. Zack Snyder & Kurt Johnstad & Michael Gordon

What a load of rubbish. What a load of utterly entertaining, visually stunning, heart-racing rubbish. 300 is as subtle as a spear through your eye, but (after checking your rational mind at the cinema door) prepare to be thoroughly entertained, amused and thrilled.

300 is based on Frank Miller's graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae in 480 B.C. Lead by King Leonidas, 300 Spartans attempt to defend their freedom against thousands upon thousands of invading Persians. And I don’t think I’m spoiling the story by saying they make a mighty impact. What makes these Spartans so special? Well, apparently they are fighting for justice and freedom, which (according to my well-read partner) is ironic considering you couldn’t find a less just ancient society if you tried. What makes them even more special is that they train their boys in warfare from an obscenely young age (didn’t everyone back then?!?) and they have a rather nifty fighting style (I’ll give them that one). All that really makes them special in the end is that they are SPARTANS (which they remind us over and over in very, very loud voices).

But I didn’t go to see 300 for a history lesson. I went because (a) I loved the cinematic rendering of Sin City (also a Miller graphic novel) and hoped an equally stunning job would be done with this film, and (b) I like to see huge men with huge abs repeatedly plunging spears into their enemies. Actually, (b) is not why I went to see it, but was certainly quite a sight (I suspect every man in the audience was sucking in his stomach and thrusting out his chest). As for (a), well, it looked damn impressive – highly stylised, beautiful art direction, amazing colours, brilliant costumes; hyper-reality at it’s finest. I was not disappointed.

The acting … well, it’s irrelevant really. Gerard Butler (King Leonidas) is a very good actor, but all he really had to do here was shout and look intense and mean and then shout some more. Which he did very well. I was much amused by the apple scene – the comic timing was excellent. Pity there wasn’t more intentional comedy (I certainly laughed a lot, but I suspect I wasn’t supposed to). Lena Headey was mildly annoying as the Queen, but her lack of clothing means that you might not notice her acting skill. But none of these actors did 300 for the acting accolades. I assume they just wanted to dress up and go RAAAAAAAAAR!!!

Don’t see 300 if you are a pacifist. Or if you are looking for an intellectually stimulating and nuanced film. By all means see 300 if you’ve had a hard week at work and need some mindless violence. See 300 if you like beefy men with unbelievable physiques. And certainly see 300 if you want to be visually enthralled. (P.S. If you do want to see an excellent visual spectacle based on a graphic novel which actually has a nuance or two, see Sin City).

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Messenger: This is blasphemy! This is madness!
King Leonidas: Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!